Friday, September 8, 2017

courtship chat.

Hey! So today I'm gonna be real here and just say that courtship has been so very different than I ever pictured. It has been hard. There has been a lot of stress and tears. I wanted to open up and was hoping for some advice from those who have gone through courtships and even from those who haven't - if you have any advice/encouragement/etc. to share I would be glad to hear it. I was wanting to get some discussion going on in the comments. I am not sure that I will leave this post on here forever, but lately I am feeling so discouraged and drained, I feel like it would help to hear people's thoughts.

I hear from some courting-now-engaged friends about all of the peace, seeming like they had peace all throughout their courtship, clear direction from God, and one friend (speaking of the courtship time before engagement) "such a sweet time" as she lovingly looks at her fiance. I was left feeling like something must be very wrong since it has not been that way for me/us these last few months.

But then I spoke to another friend who is now married and got a different perspective. She said that people are very surprised to find out about how hard it was for them once things turned serious in their courtship. Once it hit that level in their courtship they had a lot of stress, long conversations leaving them both feeling at times like it would be better for them to go their separate ways, crying, and more time than ever before spent on knees praying. But they decided that they would work through the problems because there would be problems in marriage as well and they would have to work those out in the future. And they think that it is dangerous to think that something is wrong when issues arise because good relationships take work.

So now I'm left feeling very confused. At times I believe there is too much stress. I feel like it shouldn't be this way. I've been praying so much..I'm needing a fresh vision if working things out is the right way to go as right now I'm so tired and I don't know how exactly to proceed. At times I get tired of always having to talk and I need peace to return. One thing that we are hoping may help is trying to meet more often to talk/spend time together as right now sometimes it is only a few hours once a week at each other's houses and we aren't able to talk. We both have busy work schedules and now he has college as well. But we are going to try to meet for breakfast/Bible reading together on more mornings..Lord willing.

And not all has been bad, I hope I'm not making it sound that way. He is so patient with me and always sweet. We have always kept Christ at the center of our relationship and have both grown in Him through this. I'm just confused and wanting to get over all of the stress that there has been the last few months so I'm wanting to be honest with you guys and ask for any help you could give! I would so appreciate it and we can respond back and forth. If anyone wishes to not comment and send me an email instead then here is my email adress:

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Proverbs 2:1-5

"My son, if thou wilt receive my words and hide my commandments with thee;

so that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;

yea if thou criest after knowledge and liftest up thy voice for understanding;

if thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;

then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God."               

Sunday, September 3, 2017

counting my blessings//August

-four new ducklings
-this book ^

-a bookmark of my sponsor child, Kevin <3
-watching the solar eclipse

-flowers from David before he left on a long trip
-Yerba Mate tea

-our family vacation in Branson :)
-reading through the book of Revelation

-taking my siblings to Roaring River
-talking on the phone with a friend that I hadn't talked to for *too long*!

-going to Dickerson Zoo and petting giraffes
-a group chat through text that a friend set up for prayer requests and encouragement

-my friend, Brianna, randomly sending me this picture of us from her wedding <3
-playing lots of rummy and aggravation 

-verse cards on boldness from Tashia <3
-jumping off a bridge into the water (SO fun!)

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." 
-Romans 5:1

Thursday, March 23, 2017

my word: BOLD

(this kitty follows me around everywhere, anytime I step foot outside)

I was reading through 1 Corinthians in the last part of the month of December. Chapter 9 truly spoke to my heart and I knew what my word would be for 2017 after reading it, as well as other verses pertaining to being bold and unashamed of the gospel.

"Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel."
"For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!"
"For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more."
"To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some."
"Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one recieveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain."
"...they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible."
- 1 Corinthians 9:14,16,19,22,24,&25

But then as I moved on and discovered Galatians 1:10 I was deeply convicted.

"For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."

How often I give a short and easy answer to people's questions when they notice a difference in me compared to the other people out there! I don't want them to think that I'm weird so I "sugar coat" it and may try to make myself sound like I'm not that different than them. I'm wanting to change that. I want to stick up for my beliefs even when in a crowd of young people all making fun of my "old fashioned" ways. Instead of being afraid of what they will think, I should be thinking about what the Lord would want me to do and say. I should be jumping on the chance to go further than the answer even and share more of the Lord with them! When I don't let Christ and the difference He has made in my life show to those around me, I am ultimately wanting to please those people instead of wanting to please God. This is SO wrong.

I know I need to share Jesus more with people totally on my own without waiting for other people to start a conversation as well. Those I come face to face with should hear about the King of my heart. Why do I not speak of Him more? He has saved my soul from Hell by taking all of my sins away when He gave His life for me. I need to be sharing His glorious gospel to as many people as I can. Ray Comfort uses the illustration of a person's house being on fire in the middle of the night. What would you do? You would run and pound on their door, warning them by shouting that they need to move fast! People without the Lord are in such a predicament. They need to have their eyes opened to the judgment that is yet to come. It is loving to be bold and to share the truth with them. I need to not let fear and nervousness get in the way of being bold and warning people. I need to develop an attitude of strong confidence in the Lord, so that I can say and do Godly things openly, without fear of the consequences (see quote in first photo). I need to be more "bold to speak the word without fear." -Phillipians 1:14.

Ways to help me have boldness:

Buy and hand out tracts
If anyone asks a question in which I can give an answer speaking of the Lord, answer fully and unashamed
Look for opportunities to share the gospel with others
Pray with people, not just for them

Another goal I have this year is to read through Living Water's School of Biblical Evangelism study book. It is full of witnessing help and I believe it will be a huge motivation for me, as well as push me to go past my comfort zone and share the Lord in ways that I've never done.

"And for me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel. For which I am an ambassador in bonds; that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."
-Ephesians 6:19&20

*I know it is the end of March, but I still wanted to share my word for this year with you all! It really helps to have accountability!*

*I've had this post saved for the last couple months and haven't been able to finish it until now. It made me a little sad as a wild animal killed Snuggles, the kitty pictured in the second photo of this post, around two weeks ago. She was such a sweet kitty. Like her name, she was always wanting some snuggling time.*

Friday, March 10, 2017

counting my blessings // February

fourteen healthy and adorable Golden Retriever puppies
80 degree weather
flowers from David

my little cactus plant
Rylan asking me every time I get home how work or school went
visiting with friends at Cici's pizza and then a coffee shop

buds on our flowering quince and little leaves on our weeping willow
going on horse and bike rides

pressing flowers
the above gifts from David :)
the song, "You Love Me Anyway" by Sidewalk Prophets

sweet smiles and giggles from Micah
seeing a friend I met almost a year ago at the Tanyard Creek waterfall
going to a friend's wedding and seeing lots of friends we haven't seen in awhile <3

lab days at college when we get to look at stuff under microscopes
celebrating Rylan, Lilliana, Dad, and Paige's birthdays
taking Paige hiking to get her out of the house for her surprise birthday times!

Friday, February 17, 2017

a challenge

I'm angry so I choose to 


I'm fustrated so I choose to 


I'm impatient so I choose to 


I choose to let go and

L E T   G O D


A friend sent me this challenge that she is doing. She has wrote it out on several sheets of paper and is putting it in different places around her home. 

I have decided to do this challenge as well. Instead of letting myself stay angry, get fustrated, or become impatient I will choose to sing, worship, and praise with the Lord's help!

Will you join me in this challenge?